RANSVESTIA

All the same I had been crying that night. Because now I understood that a grave mistake it was not to tell my wife about this.

The bright sunny morning blew away all my fears. Of course I was going to tell Lena! Some day..

My favorite most beautiful underwear . . . a bra, a girdle, little panties, and a slip, all dove-colored with a shade of lavender... How expensive they were when I bought them! But the quality! And the fine creamy laces... well worth their price! And now for the stockings. Pink ones with embroidered butterflies? Outrageious? “Black tulip”? No, too dark for a day like this. Ordinary stockings of a neutral shade, they would do.

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I lifted down the long mirror from the hall and carried it into the bright sunshine near the balcony. Carefully I scutinized the “lady" in the mirror. She wore a beautiful blue dress, and her hair caught the sunshine. She wasn't pretty. But she looked so happy! And the make up was well done, although I hadn't had much training, lately.

I didn't possess a coat, and the day was chilly. Furthermore my shoes weren't too comfortable . . . But I went straight to the garage and bor- rowed my wife's bright red little car and I drove downtown, to the shop- ping center where I carefully parked the car.

Slowly I walked in the October sunshine, looking into every window. I saw dresses, books, jewelry . . . and myself, mirrored in the glass . . . People around me would have been surprised, had they known how happy that made me! But nobody noticed me, particularly. And that made me even more happy!

I went to a cafeteria and had a cup of coffee. The place was crowded. I shared my table with two ladies, out shopping. I sat there with my cof- fee and tried to analyze a growing feeling of unreality. . . as if I didn't exist. . . or rather as if all these people were actors in a play I was watch- ing... didn't we belong to the same reality?

I walked out in the sunshine again, feeling rather confident. Very soon, however, I lost some of this new confidence when Reality tapped on my shoulder: I had no idea of the effect of artificial daylight on my face. In a shop I was looking at some pretty embroidered blouses when I happened to see my own face in one of the mirrors. There were faint dark shadows on my cheeks and chin, also very noticable on my upper